


Long Way From Home

by perculious



Category: Bend It Like Beckham (2002)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 20:45:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/141567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perculious/pseuds/perculious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jess and Jules in America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Way From Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Selenay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenay/gifts).



They'd won the game in the last thirty seconds. It hadn't been Jess's goal, but she'd intercepted the ball and passed it to Katie, who took it most of the way down the field and kicked it sideways to Lara, who kicked it right past the UCLA goalie into the net. So the euphoria definitely felt like it at least partially belonged to Jess. She'd high-fived everyone until her palms tingled and her cheeks hurt from smiling.

It was their last game for a week and it was a Friday, so afterwards Jess showered and changed and then headed over to Katie's house. It was already packed with girls, some music with a good dance beat thrumming through the hallways. Jess found Jules right after walking in the door and tugged on the thin strap of her sparkly shirt to get her attention.

"Are you snapping my strap?" Jules said, turning in fake outrage. "Oh, hi, Jess." She seemed like she'd already had something to drink, and Jess was jealous.

"Beer?" Jess said. Jules pointed behind her, to the kitchen. Jess squeezed her arm in thanks, and went to get some for herself.

When she came back, Jules was gone. Jess looked around for her, but before she could find her, Erika was at her side, her cheeks flushed. "Jessie! You have to come, they're mixing all the alcohol they can find and Lara's boyfriend is actually going to drink it."

Jess got sidetracked watching Vince attempt shots of vodka-gin-rum-Jäger-tequila-Pabst and nearly choke while everyone laughed and slapped him on the back. By the time she wandered off to look for Jules again, she was on her third beer, and she wasn't quite sure what had happened to the first two.

Jules was in Katie's living room. The couch had been pushed off to the side and the rug had been pulled back, to make room for a large circle of people sitting on the floor.

"Hi," Jess said, dropping to her knees right behind Jules. There wasn't quite enough room for her to squeeze into the circle. "What's going on?"

"Kings," Jules said.

"Six!"

Jess looked up. Across the circle, one of the boys she didn't know was holding a playing card between his thumb and index finger. Jess could see there was a messy pile of cards, all face-down, in the circle's center. "Drink, ladies."

Jules took a sip from a red cup, along with all the other girls in the circle.

"Move over and let me join in, then," Jess said, swatting her arm.

The game was easy to pick up, although Jess hadn't encountered it before. When they'd gone halfway around the circle, her beer ran out, so she dashed off to the kitchen and got a vodka and sprite. She wasn't really feeling the alcohol, or at least she didn't think she was. It was hard to tell. Everything seemed a little softer around the edges, the crowd a little more difficult to navigate, but she couldn't tell if she was really that much drunker than after her first beer.

When she got back to the circle, it was Jules' turn to pick a card. She reached into the center of the circle and plucked one out of the pile. "Queen," she said. "What's that mean?" Somewhere on Jess's right, someone repeated "What's that mean?" in an imitation of Jules' accent and sniggered. Jess turned furiously, but she couldn't see who it was. She glared in that general direction, out of principle.

"Question," said the boy who had picked the six earlier. "You have to answer a question. Like truth or dare, but no dare."

"And how does that get me to drink?" Jules said. She had clearly grasped the point of this game.

"If you don't want to answer it, you can drink instead," the boy said, flashing her a grin. He leaned in a little, and his floppy hair fell into his eyes. Jess hated his haircut; it was stupid and trendy, and he obviously thought it made him look good. The worst part was that it sort of did. Jess wondered if Jules had noticed that.

"Alright," Jules said. She lifted her chin, like she always did when she was facing a challenge. "What's the question?"

The boy jerked his head, indicating the rest of the circle. "Who here would you most like to hook up with?"

Jess almost rolled her eyes. It was such an obvious come-on of a question. The guy clearly expected Jules to giggle and be scandalized. Instead, Jules threw her arm around Jess and said, "Jess, of course."

Jess laughed. Jules had obviously seen through the question just as easily.

"You have to answer truthfully, or you have to drink," the boy said, raising his eyebrows and grinning.

"Now you're just making shit up," Jules said. "But anyway, I was telling the truth. I'd rather hook up with Jess than any of you lot."

The boy sitting next to the self-designated Kings expert let out a loud snort of laughter. "Harsh, dude," he said to the expert boy.

"Haha," the boy said. "Okay, your turn then, Jess."

"You don't believe me, do you," Jules said. "I'm dead serious. What do you think, Jess?"

Jules turned to her. Her eyes were shining, and from what Jess could tell, this was still all a joke, but she had no idea where it was going. The alcohol was starting to hit her now. She felt dizzy and overheated, her face hot. She suddenly wished she could go outside and get some fresh air.

But one thing she did know was that Jules was asking for backup.

"'Course," Jess said.

"Do it!" someone yelled, and there was a chorus of cheers. Jules leaned in, and Jess closed her eyes and let her. The next thing she felt was soft lips against her own. Jules' breath was hot, and Jess could taste alcohol. Her mouth was wet, and for a second, something in Jess seized up and she jerked away, startled and scared.

There were more cheers, and a few drunken whoops. Most of the voices sounded male, and that gave Jess a strange, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She suddenly imagined her mother being here, which—she thought she had blocked that out. She used to hear her mother's voice in her head constantly, berating her for her choices of outfit, her friends, any drinking she did, any hookups she had. She'd gotten over it, but now all of a sudden she had a crystal clear idea of what her mother would think of kissing another girl while boys around her whooped, and it made something crumple in her chest.

"I'm going outside," she said, and pushed herself unsteadily to her feet. She thought she heard Jules say "Jess" behind her, but she really wanted to be out in the fresh air, so she ignored it, pushing through the masses of hot, sweaty, drunken partiers.

The back porch was still overpopulated, but the cool air felt good on Jess's face. She wrapped her arms across her chest. It was chilly out, fall slowly turning to winter, and she was only wearing a T-shirt.

She stayed outside for a while, watching the rest of the partiers. It occurred to her that she was definitely drunk. Not as drunk as she could be, but the weird quality that time was taking on seemed a good indicator that she didn't need any more to drink. That weird moment back in the party seemed very far away, although it couldn't have been more than a few minutes ago. It had happened so fast, just an odd moment of heat and touch, and now that it was over, it was hard to believe it had actually happened.

She heard footsteps behind her. Probably Jules, she figured, and she turned, ready to tell her not to worry about it, but it was the guy from the Kings circle earlier. Jess frowned at him, confused.

"Hey," he said. "Sorry if that got weird back there. I'm Andrew."

"I thought you were trying to have it off with Jules," Jess said. He laughed a little, which she didn't really think was the right response.

"Your accent is really cute," he said. He moved in toward her, and placed a hand on her hip. His palm was hot.

Jess stepped away, stumbling and falling back against the porch railing. "I'm not interested," she said. Maybe it was time to just call this night a bust. Jess pushed past Andrew to go back inside and grab her coat.

-

Jess spent the next day mostly sitting on her bed, eating pretzels and doing homework. Sunday they had practice again, which felt good. Jess jogged up next to Jules on their way off the pitch, slowing as she reached her. She was still a little out of breath.

"Hey," she said. "You want to come with me to get some dinner in an hour or so?"

"Ah, Jess, I can't," Jules said. "I've got a massive paper due tomorrow and I've barely had time to work on it, we've been practicing so much."

"Okay," Jess said.

Except then the next day Jules didn't answer a text asking her about lunch, and then in their next practice Jules barely even looked at Jess.

It was really freaking Jess out, because if something about what happened at that party was bothering Jules, it wasn't like her not to talk about it. The way she was acting wasn't the normal way she acted when something was upsetting her; it was the way she acted when she was mad at Jess. And Jess couldn't see any reason why she would be mad.

Unless it was that guy. Jess didn't think Jules was going for him, but it was possible that she'd liked him, and that she'd seen him go after Jess and got upset. That was definitely a familiar situation. And even if Jules didn't like him, she sometimes got weird about boys going after Jess and not her, like she thought they were still in competition somehow, even if she didn't want the prize.

Either way, Jess was going to have to confront her. On Tuesday, Jess went to Jules' favorite café in town and bought a chocolate chip cookie Then she texted Jules, saying "i'm coming to your room in ten minutes", and marched over.

If Jules really didn't want to talk to her, she had plenty of time to get out of the room. Jess knocked on the door, her heart pounding. She hated having serious conversations like this. It was so much easier when she and Jules could watch movies together and laugh, Jules' arm slung casually around her shoulder.

The door opened. Jules was standing there in a tank top and sweat pants. Jess almost expected her to have her arms crossed or to ask Jess to leave, if she was really angry, but instead she just looked tired.

"I brought you a cookie," Jess said, holding it up. Jules didn't say anything, but she took the cookie and opened the door wider, giving Jess space to come on.

Jess sat down on Jules' bed. Jules closed the door and then stood by it, her arms at her sides.

"Okay, so what is it?" Jess said. She said it a little forcefully, to cover up the fact that she was still nervous. They were close enough now that Jules couldn't pretend she hadn't been blowing Jess off.

Jules didn't answer.

"You're avoiding me because of the party, right?" Jess said.

Jules shrugged. "Well," she said. "Yeah. The party."

"Was it that guy? Because I swear, I didn't even think he was attractive. I'll probably never even see him again."

"What guy?"

"You know," Jess said, suddenly unsure that she was right about this. "That guy. Is that not what you're mad about?"

Now Jules did cross her arms over her chest, and she looked mad, although she was still holding tightly onto the cookie with one hand.

"Jess, why would I be mad over some guy?"

"I don't know," Jess said. It would be a very bad idea to bring up Joe and Jules' weird competitive nature right now. "What is it, then?"

"I should think it's kind of obvious," Jules said, her voice hard.

"But…" Jess hesitated. "Then, was it... I mean, I know there was that weird moment between us, but—that's fine. I mean, I don't think it has to be a big deal. I don't know why you'd be mad, anyway. It wasn't like I started—"

"I know you didn't!" Jules said loudly. "Never mind, Jess, okay? Thank you for the cookie, you can leave now."

"What?" Now Jess was more confused than ever.

"I said never mind!"

Jess thought back to the weird moment in the circle. Maybe she was missing something? Everything about that memory was a little fuzzy. Jules had said she'd rather hook up with Jess, and then everyone had started yelling, and then Jules and kissed her—and she'd jerked away and then left. Alright, it seemed bad. But surely the fact that Jess was here now trying to get Jules to talk to her indicated that she wasn't weirded out by it.

Unless… Jess remembered the hot, sharp shock she'd felt in that moment, the feeling that made her want to get away as fast as possible. Maybe that was what Jules had felt too, and maybe the fact that Jess was saying it wasn't a big deal was the opposite of what she wanted.

"Jules," Jess said, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest. "It's okay. I mean, it's really okay. Whatever you're freaking out about. I don't mind, really, I promise."

She spoke earnestly, willing Jules to understand what she was trying to say.

"You sure?" Jules said, her voice soft.

"Yeah," Jess said, ignoring the voice in the back of her head that was panicking right now, thinking about what Pinky would say. Pinky was very, very far away. Several thousand miles away.

"It's just, my mum will have a _fit_ ," Jules said, breaking. She came over and sat down heavily next to Jess on the bed. "I know her, Jess. I'll call her and tell her and there'll be this long pause, and then she'll say it's alright but it'll be in her high-pitched of-course-you-can-join-a-football-team voice, and then from that point on she'll be sending me Dusty Springfield discs and Tipping the Velvet DVDs and telling me she's known it ever since I got my hair cut short. "

She took a furious bite of cookie, chewed it angrily, swallowed, and then started up again. "And she'll think football messes girls up, and I don't want her to think that because it _doesn't_ , so we'll have to have the conversation again where I run through all the girls on the team who have boyfriends, and she'll ask why I don't have a boyfriend and then it'll be awkward silences on the phone with her from now until forever, she'll never understand it—"

"Jules," Jess said, cutting in. "I'm _Indian._ "

Jules stared at her for a second, and then started giggling.

"What?" Jess said, annoyed.

Jules put a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that you're right, that's worse, that's so much worse than just my mum being my mum. Oh my God."

"I know," Jess said. "I know!"

She waited until Jules had calmed down a little, her breathing returning to a normal rate. Then she said, "So, what—"

And then Jules' mouth was on hers, Jules' hand suddenly on her knee. Jess was startled for a moment, unable to breathe, and then she closed her eyes and let it happen. She waited for the hot feeling to seize her again, and when it did, she didn't jerk back this time. Instead, she brought her hand up to tangle in the hair at the back of Jules' neck, and kissed her back.

After a while, Jules pulled away. "Can we just not ever tell them?" she said.

"Well, we don't have to tell them _now_ ," Jess said, and she leaned in again to make Jules stop talking about it.


End file.
